The first-year baby milestones list, without the pressure

Milestone lists are useful and dangerous in equal measure. Useful, because a first-year baby book that records when things happened is a joy to read. Dangerous, because every list gets read as a deadline, and a baby who rolls at five months is not behind a baby who rolled at three. The ranges below are wide on purpose. If something on this list worries you, that is what your pediatrician is for; this page is for the book.

How to record a milestone

Three parts, one line each: what happened, the date, and a detail nobody else would know. "First laugh, August 9, 6:12 p.m., the kitchen, Dad dropped the wooden spoon." The detail is the part that matters at twenty. Save that line beside the month's photographs in your book.

Birth to six weeks

Lifts the head briefly during tummy time.
Startles at sounds, and settles to a familiar voice.
Watches faces at about the distance of a feeding.
The first social smile often arrives around six weeks, sometimes later. Record who got it.

Worth writing down: the first stretch of sleep long enough to alarm you, the first bath, the first outing, the first night home.

Two to three months

Smiles at people on purpose.
Coos, and starts a back-and-forth that feels like conversation.
Follows a moving object with the eyes.
Holds the head steadier and pushes up on the arms during tummy time.
Discovers the hands and studies them.

Worth writing down: the first laugh and what caused it; the sound that is not quite a cry; the thing that reliably works when nothing else does.

Four to six months

Rolls over, front to back first for most babies, then the other way.
Reaches and grabs, and everything goes in the mouth.
Babbles with consonants: ba, da, ma, with no meaning yet, whatever anyone claims.
Sits with support, then, toward six months, briefly without it.
First solid food somewhere around six months, on your pediatrician's advice.

Worth writing down: the first food and the verdict; the first time they sat up and looked surprised about it; the object they will not let go of.

Seven to nine months

Sits without support and turns to look around.
Passes objects from hand to hand, and drops them from the high chair to see what you do.
Crawls, or scoots, or rolls with intent; some skip crawling entirely.
Responds to their name, and to "no", which they will treat as a suggestion.
Stranger awareness arrives; grandparents, be patient.
Pulls up to standing toward nine months.

Worth writing down: the route through the house; the first time they clapped; what they say to the dog.

Ten to twelve months

Cruises along furniture, and may take first steps between nine and fifteen months. Both ends of that range are ordinary.
Pincer grasp: picks up a single pea, then offers it to you.
First words with meaning, usually a name for a parent or the dog. Record the dispute about whether it counts.
Waves, points, and hands you things over and over.
Understands simple requests and makes their own very clear.

Worth writing down: the first word and both sides of the argument; the first steps and who was there; the cake.

What the list is not

It is not a checklist to complete, and it is not a comparison. Nearly every milestone above has a range of months, and healthy babies fill the whole range. The only milestone that matters for the book is the one that happened at your house, on a date, with a detail. Write that down, in a sentence, the day it happens. The book takes care of the rest.

You can add a milestone to Volume One whenever you remember it, then return to the page when you want to adjust the words or print the book. The pressure stays off it.